The Agonizing Last Words Of Programmer Bill Zeller
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The Agonizing Last Words Of Programmer Bill Zeller
So, so sad! I read the whole thing. It is long but a must read!
http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agonizing-last-words-of-bill-zeller
Bill Zeller was a talented programmer whose work we've featured on Lifehacker. He took his own life on Sunday and left an explanation that I think it's important you read.
Zeller was a victim of sexual and psychological abuse. It's clear from his writing that the abuse left him unable to interface with the world in any way that didn't leave him feeling he was too sullied to have the same experiences that he thought others had. He had a self-described "darkness", which despite his prostration it's clear he handled more ably than perhaps he ever realized.
Programming was a solace, but only temporarily. Zeller never felt he could escape the things that had happened to him because he carried his torment with him everywhere.
I think a person has the right to live or end their life as they choose. If Zeller really felt that suicide was his only option, so be it. But as someone who has had similar experiences in my own life, I want to say to anyone else who feels the way Zeller felt: You can't escape your past. Not completely. But you can deal with it. You can contextualize it. You can learn how to prepare for the times when you feel like it's not even on your radar and then it totally broadsides you.
And you can talk to people. You really can.
http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agonizing-last-words-of-bill-zeller
Bill Zeller was a talented programmer whose work we've featured on Lifehacker. He took his own life on Sunday and left an explanation that I think it's important you read.
Zeller was a victim of sexual and psychological abuse. It's clear from his writing that the abuse left him unable to interface with the world in any way that didn't leave him feeling he was too sullied to have the same experiences that he thought others had. He had a self-described "darkness", which despite his prostration it's clear he handled more ably than perhaps he ever realized.
Programming was a solace, but only temporarily. Zeller never felt he could escape the things that had happened to him because he carried his torment with him everywhere.
I think a person has the right to live or end their life as they choose. If Zeller really felt that suicide was his only option, so be it. But as someone who has had similar experiences in my own life, I want to say to anyone else who feels the way Zeller felt: You can't escape your past. Not completely. But you can deal with it. You can contextualize it. You can learn how to prepare for the times when you feel like it's not even on your radar and then it totally broadsides you.
And you can talk to people. You really can.
shanaya- Admin is da shiznit!
Re: The Agonizing Last Words Of Programmer Bill Zeller
Sad to hear may he rest in peace..
sharber60- Plus Member
Re: The Agonizing Last Words Of Programmer Bill Zeller
I've never been in any type of unfavorable up bringing but feel for those that have. I know some that have had expierences & know that with a strong "connection" with others as a sounding board, shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen & a heart to love them & arms to hug them, moving forward is an option that most take & can learn to accept & cope & move on & use their testamony to HELP others. That seems to be a strong positive if they are able to connect w/another & HELP them, it seems to help heal themselves as well.
Shawna, I only know of the little that you've shared & knowing you, you are one who is a testamony for others. You are a survivor & that's the first step.
Shawna, I only know of the little that you've shared & knowing you, you are one who is a testamony for others. You are a survivor & that's the first step.
krstnvnc- The one with the crooked halo
Re: The Agonizing Last Words Of Programmer Bill Zeller
Thanks Kris. I decided in my life that I would not let what happened to me take over my life. It did for awhile, I did the rebellious thing, etc. but I have overcome it after realizing none of it was my fault and to blame the only person responsible. The perpetrator. Of course damage has been done but I don't let it get to me like it did before. I think part of what happened to me is why I am not interested in dating. Have not for almost 8 years now, and still have no desire to. Menopause may also play a factor-lol. I don't hate men at all, but I definitely will be more careful if I ever decide to date again. I am going to be picky as hell! :p
shanaya- Admin is da shiznit!
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