You know you are a bad cook if..........

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A BAD COOK WHEN , , ,

- You use the smoke alarm as a
cooking timer.

- You consider it a culinary success if the
pop-tart
stays in one piece.

- Your dog goes to the neighbors' to
eat.

- Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.

-
When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns
and the third stands
ready by the phone with 911 on
speed-dial.

- Your family
automatically heads for the dinner table
every time they hear a fire truck
siren.

- The EPA insists that all your garbage cans be marked
with
biohazard symbols.

- Your microwave display reads "TILT!"

- Your
two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie,
but your dinner guests can't
tell which is which.

- Your pie filling bubbles over and eats the enamel
off
the bottom of the oven.

- You've used three boxes of scouring pads
and
a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that
macaroni and cheese still
won't let go of the pan.

- Pest control companies keep pestering
you
for your recipes.

- You make tuna noodle surprise and
the
surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the
silverware.

Yuck!

Sounds like my ex!

I'm missing a cat Doc,

I hope you haven't been cooking up the 'other' white meat.
He was kinda skinny anyway.

Doreen wrote:I'm missing a cat Doc,

I hope you haven't been cooking up the 'other' white meat.
He was kinda skinny anyway.

Doreen your cat was very tasty.

irishgodfather1 wrote:

Doreen wrote:I'm missing a cat Doc,

I hope you haven't been cooking up the 'other' white meat.
He was kinda skinny anyway.

Doreen your cat was very tasty.

here I thought it was only Doc that like cat meat.

I thought I could cook until my kids went to culinary school and now they tell me how I do everything wrong.
I dont know how I kept them alive so long on my poor prep habit, and my poor cooking habits lol
I constantly tell them that I did this long before they were ever thought about lol