THE ZEN OF SARCASM
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THE ZEN OF SARCASM
by Mr Cojones July 3rd 2008, 1:09 pm
01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me the hell alone.
02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
leaky tire.
03. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments
08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.
09. If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it
back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and
it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me the hell alone.
02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
leaky tire.
03. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments
08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.
09. If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably
a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it
back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and
it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night
Mr Cojones- Moderator
Re: THE ZEN OF SARCASM
by Mousessugar July 3rd 2008, 3:25 pm
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night
MY fav..
the same night
MY fav..
Mousessugar- Special Member
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