2008 Darwin Awards

Removing the stupid ones out of the gene pool.
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2008.html

A few of our Friday and Saturday night 'social' bowlers need to be on there.

these are really funny!

I liked this one:
(2008) Darren was dumb even for a junkie, but what he lacked in IQ he made up in creativity. In the supermarket, he notice a bag labelled "Birdseed 100% Poppy Seed." He seized his chance to circumvent the stranglehold of the International Drug Cartels with the following logic: 100% Poppy Seed = 100% Opium! Figuring he was onto something good, he bought a bag of birdseed, boiled it into a thick black paste, and proceeded to inject it into his vein.

Nothing happened, so he did it again.

An hour later, he was brought unconscious to our Emergency Department, as sick as it is possible to be. His chest X-ray showed thousands of tiny seed-like objects scattered throughout his lungfields. Our working diagnosis was Milary Tuberculosis, so-called because the TB deposits resemble millet seeds. Little did we know!

Only two weeks later, after he recovered from life-threatening septicaemia and multiple organ failure, did the true story emerge. Darren survived, but subsequently died of a garden variety overdose.

I really liked this one, from the 2005 archive:

(18 December 2005, South Africa) Two muggers were working a crowd. The had just taken a cellphone and purse from a couple at knifepoint, when the woman screamed. The muggers sprinted away. But working a crowd and working out are entirely different things, and one of the muggers was out of shape.

As he watched his compatriot recede into the distance, he felt the stitch in his side, and knew he could run no farther. Perhaps he was thinking he should have spent some of his ill-gotten gains on a trip to the gym. But then he spotted a high fence, and that, at least, he could manage.

He put on a burst of speed, and leapt the fence. Sure enough, no one followed. Escape! But he had failed to take into consideration a very important fact. He was at the Bloemfontein Zoo. Just as he was congratulating himself on his foolproof escape, he realized that the other side of the fence was a 10 meter drop into a cage of bored Bengal tigers!

Speaking of foolproof, the tigers wasted no time in treating the nearest fool as their own little kitty toy. The mauled body of the mugger was not noticed until noon. A zoo spokesperson said that the tigers had been fed the previous afternoon, else they would have left no evidence behind.

Police said a post mortem would be carried out to determine the exact cause of his death--as if that wasn't obvious.