Driving

This morning on the highway, I looked over to my left and there
was a woman in a brand new Solstice.. doing 70 mph

With her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds ! And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup. As a man, I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the darn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Fluckin' women drivers ! !